


faded looking for love

by sinta



Series: boy sense [1]
Category: Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Drinking, Established Relationship, Kissing, M/M, tbh this is just 1.7k+ words of woojin being whipped
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-17
Updated: 2017-11-17
Packaged: 2019-02-03 13:31:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12749304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinta/pseuds/sinta
Summary: They're all that matters in this moment—him and Jihoon and the feeling of being whole and in love,love love loverolling off their teeth like a prayer.(or: a montage of sorts.)





	faded looking for love

**Author's Note:**

> surprise bitch thought you've seen the last of me

**drowned my love in waves of honey chardonnay**

Jihoon takes him through the streets of a city alive with noise, neon pulsing in flashing signs swimming in his line of vision and all Woojin could think about is how Jihoon looks so _good_ tonight. The light floods his features and lights up all the planes of his face in all the right places, flashes of purple and pink and and red and blue on the boy Woojin loves the most. Feels like he's seeing the world through cellophane and kaleidoscope.

It's beautiful, Woojin thinks.

(This and this and this. Him and Jihoon. Him and the lights _and_ Jihoon.)

Woojin breathes in the decades in the bars they visit, vinyls stacked up beside record players and old jukeboxes cranking out Sinatra and taking shot after shot after shot with 50 Cent playing in the background. Jihoon's mouth on his collarbone, Jihoon's lips on his, Jihoon's tongue in his mouth; Woojin hooks both his index fingers on Jihoon's belt loops and pulls him closer, but it isn't enough for him.  _You taste like alcohol and vomit_ , he says, but Jihoon only hums against the corner of his mouth.

He doesn't keep his hands away from Jihoon's hips for more than a few minutes; they dance together that way, swaying and hips rolling, Jihoon's arms around his neck, Woojin pressing little kisses on his nose and cheek every now and then.

(Jihoon pulls him into the dimmest corner of the last bar when they've had a little too much to drink. Woojin had attempted to drink multiple glasses of rum, and if he's being honest, everything is starting to blur together. Jihoon pulls him into an open-mouthed kiss, hands slipping down Woojin's hips and tucking themselves in his back pockets. Woojin all but crushes Jihoon close to him, that no matter how close they get it'll never, ever be enough for him.

His heart aches a little when Jihoon pulls away and looks at him like _that_ , though he still hasn't figured out what  _that_ means. It's a mix of fondness, love, maybe a tiny bit of lust, and Something Else.

This is what he wants.

When he loses Jihoon in the crowd and asks the bartender for another drink, a nauseating feeling starting to swirl in his gut, he tells himself:

He is so fucking in love with Jihoon it hurts. And this is what he wants.)

 

**ache in my dumb heart that only passes when you smile**

Jihoon with a small pile of puppies on him is doing funny things to his heart.

It isn't something he hasn't felt before, but it rattles him a little bit at his hinges whenever his heart skips a beat, going _one two four_ instead of _one two three_ like it should. He doesn't know what to do about it.

Another dog pads up to Jihoon, a golden retriever that Jihoon coos at. Woojin's heart does a _one two four_ again, and he smiles, because this is a different side of Jihoon he loves seeing.

Jihoon, in this moment, is soft. Warm. The kind that fills his lungs and pushes his ribcage outward in steady sighs. Jihoon smiles with his tongue between his teeth when he looks up at Woojin, gesturing to the sleeping dog on his lap and putting a finger to his lips so Woojin doesn't say anything. Woojin laughs when Jihoon lets out an _oh no_ when he shifts and the dog ends up waking and leaving his lap, padding away to another person. Jihoon pouts.

(He wants to kiss it away, so he does. If he misses, it doesn't matter.)

_One two four, one two four_ —and his chest swells up with something he can't name. It's not love, at least, not _just_ love, but something bigger than he'll ever be. Something he can't understand. Something that probably involves spilling his insides out on the faux-wood flooring of this cafe and he's not sure if that's something he could handle right now. A Feeling hits him square on his sternum.

He's scratching a beagle behind the ears when Jihoon presses up against his back, arms lacing around his waist despite it demanding an awkward angle from the way Jihoon is sitting.

"You're supposed to be hugging the dogs, not me," Woojin says.

"You're good enough."

Jihoon smiles into his shoulder. _One two four._

He'll never get used to it.

 

**helpless when it's you i think about**

Love hurts in good ways, sometimes.

Love hurts in good ways when Jihoon takes him in for a kiss and Woojin's lungs burn from being breathless. Woojin's teeth are working at Jihoon's bottom lip and Jihoon moans a little. It's lips and tongue and teeth, slow and easy; it's the little things that make him ache in happiness, little things such as this—kissing, being close, and Woojin feels. Okay. More than okay. Like his heart is going to crawl out of his chest.

When they break apart (but are still so close enough that their lips are almost touching), a small stab of pride pricks at Woojin because Jihoon is flushed and his bottom lip is slightly swollen, soft and pink. Jihoon smiles, that tongue-between-his-teeth thing that he always does.

(Woojin is all sorts of Weak.)

It's a pound of muted happiness and a dash of want when Woojin pulls him in again, this time leaving a trail of kisses on Jihoon's face—on his forehead, his nose, both of his cheeks, and on his lips. He moves down to press kisses on Jihoon's jaw and neck and bites down a smile when he feels Jihoon's grip on his hips tighten.

"Woojin."

"Mm?" Woojin says into Jihoon's collarbone.

"I love you."

( _I love you_ makes him want to cry. _I love you_ makes him Weak.

Love hurts in good ways, sometimes.)

Woojin kisses Jihoon's chin. "I love you too."

 

**city skies deprive you of the stars i know you like**

Late-night drives have been their Thing ever since they started dating two years ago.

It's a win-win for both of them—Woojin loves to drive (would drive Jihoon anywhere if he asked), and Jihoon, as a rising starlet ( _"can't believe I'm dating_ the _Park Jihoon"_ ), is usually only free at ass o'clock in the morning when the rest of the world is sleeping.

Woojin locks their front door and turns around to face Jihoon, who's perched on the hood of his car. 

"Ready to go?" he asks, kissing Jihoon lightly.

"Mmm," Jihoon pulls him closer, kisses him deeper. "if you're gonna keep kissing me like this I don't think I want to leave."

Woojin chuckles against Jihoon's lips. "Come on, let's go."

They get into the car and set out for the highway.

It feels—nice, driving like this, Woojin thinks. With Jihoon's hand in his, pressing feather-light kisses on each of his knuckles, and seeing the way the light hits Jihoon face, making him even more beautiful than he already is. It feels nice, when Jihoon is rolling his window down and yelling "Park Woojin, I love you!" into the night.

"You're gross," Woojin says.

"I'm in love with you," is all Jihoon replies.

They play their favorite songs with the volume on full blast, and Jihoon keeps yelling and hooting out his window, out into the streets with no people. Woojin feels— _infinite_ , as awful and cheesy as it sounds, because they're in the space between dreams and waking, when everything is quiet. They're all that matters in this moment—him and Jihoon and the feeling of being whole and in love, _love love love_ rolling off their teeth like a prayer, a song, only sung in the times when it's just them, together.

The car fills with their laughter and Woojin decides it's not so bad to lose himself in this.

(The world may be asleep but they're awake and alive and it's fucking _enchanting_.)

 

**cause all i wanna do is lose myself in you, little spoon**

There's something about Jihoon that grounds him and keeps him on his toes at the same time.

Like now, with the light streaming through the blinds, the summer haze sinking into his bones. Jihoon in his arms, tufts of hair close to tickling his nose. Jihoon in his arms, a warmth, making him heartsick.

(This is the boy he loves the most.)

He feels small, sometimes, when he's with Jihoon. Because Jihoon is more than half of what he is, and Woojin finds himself questioning if it's okay to feel this small when he's with Jihoon, even more when Jihoon is gone. When Jihoon is out for a shoot, or an interview, when a picture of them together makes it to the internet and starts floating around and finding itself in the hands of so many people Woojin doesn't know. When the media asks Jihoon about him and Jihoon says a lot but not enough, shutting down rumors but not quite answering them at the same time.

Maybe he's being selfish (or maybe it just comes with the territory), but he wants to tuck Jihoon in his arms and keep him there forever. It's strange to share him to the entire world, sometimes, strange to have so many people prodding at his life and turning things over and over and over to get a glimpse of who he really is.

Which is why he wants this moment to stretch on for as long as it can, Jihoon in his arms (always in his heart), whispering soft things that make his heart swell and ache; Jihoon in his arms kissing his chin, the hollow between his collarbones, and nuzzling closer to Woojin's chest.

He tells Jihoon everything he knows Jihoon wants to hear, all the secrets and love he stores inside of him, spilling out in waves.

(He wouldn't ever admit it, at least not out loud, but he feels _lost_ when Jihoon is gone, only waiting until the day is over so he gets to hold Jihoon like this again, right up until the morning and then Jihoon has to leave.

He wouldn't ever admit it, though he's sure Jihoon knows, but Jihoon has him wrapped round his finger. All of him, every action and word a love letter in parts.

He feels lost and small, but he'll be alright.

Jihoon's hand finds his underneath the covers.

He'll be alright.)

**Author's Note:**

> whispers i really wanted lowkey manic pixie dream boy jihoon
> 
> i just wanted to say that this entire work is inspired (more like sponsored sjfjdj) by bp valenzuela's songs on soundcloud, the side-project ones (esp half-lit): draft 22, little spoon, backspace me, the great divide, and lmk (sleepypasta).
> 
> she's [really](https://soundcloud.com/bpvalenzuela) [good](https://soundcloud.com/halflit) please give her a listen!!! 
> 
> also, come talk to me on my [w1 twt](http://twitter.com/pjhluv) n lets love the boys together!!!! <3


End file.
